fear

In some ways, every fear is of the unknown.

As a parent, the most common fear is that something could happen to your child.

When something happens to your child, the fear extends to what may happen next.

My little boy is sick this week.  Nothing tragic or overly serious, or so we heard today at the doctor's office.  Apparently he has an ear infection (or two), likely brought on as a "secondary infection" from his system being depressed due to allergies, or a cold, etc

I'm not taking it well.

He cannot tell us what hurts, or what he wants, or what he needs.  Our relatively articulate 2 year old has been reduced to a constant moan, with spikes of intense whining.  Normal treats, like juice, he treats with contempt.  He doesn't want us to take his clothes off; he doesn't want us to put clothes on him.  He doesn't want us to wipe his nose, and he doesn't want us to give him medicine.  Every action we have taken today has resulted in full body spasms as he fights us; he doesn't understand we are trying to help and hurting alongside him.

The whole experience has unnerved and shaken me, and it leaves me frightened about what could come.  Again - my son has what is very likely a common ear infection and will be back to normal soon.  But in the interim it is just too easy for our fear to fester, for us to fear that his pain - and our own - will somehow evolve and extend into something worse and longer lasting.

Love can be hard, and love can hurt.

Here's hoping that everyone feels better in the morning.