18 months! 1.5 years! wow!

Your mother and I decided pretty early on that we weren't going to do this "half birthday" non-sense...just because your actual birthday came the day after Christmas, it's your birthday, and we will be as ridiculous about you on that day as we want.

But...18 months does seem like a big deal, for some reason.  A lot HAS happened in this last month.

You got your first car (and you take personal safety seriously!)

You are learning to eat like an adult (this bit is home grilled pizza)



You even made a go at your first job, but it turned out that delivering packages was not your passion.

I have no video evidence to offer here, but this month has also seen you beginning to show your interest in expression via dance...nearly every day you find a chance to turn on the radio (you love pushing buttons), and we find you spinning, smiling, waving your arms.  It's quite a sight, and one we have yet to tire of seeing.

There is, however, video evidence that you are going to be awesome at hiding:



One of the things about this stage that constantly surprises me is how I see you...in one moment, you look like a proper little dude about town, like here where it looks like you are weighing the decision between San Pellegrino and the more quotidian DeerPark bottled waters:

or here where you seem ready to have a heart to heart chat:

but then, at other times, I look at you and all I can see is the soft, tiny chunk of love you were 18 months ago:

Son, we tell you all the time, but don't think we can say it too much: your mother and father love you.

Month 17

This month turned out to be full of interesting bits.  For one, you stopped drinking your mom's milk in the last few weeks.  This was a decision we made, a plan we agreed on, and when the time came you took the change in stride.  Your mom struggled a little, and still does - the intimacy of breastfeeding creates a very tight bond between Mom and Baby, and I know she misses that part of the evening; the bedtime feeding was the last to go.

Part of the rationale for weaning you this month was connected to the other big happening.  For the first time ever, Mom was away from you over night.  And not just one little Mother's-Night-Out, but a whole week!

The other side of that equation meant that this same week was Dad's first opportunity to be the sole care giver for you, several hours in the morning, and then from afternoon and through the nights.  For weeks in advance I had been building this little lump of anxiety in my belly, not sure of what to expect from the week but nearly certain that I would mess it up in some spectacular way.

I should not have worried.  Things went better than I could have expected, and probably better than I deserved.  The first night (my biggest concern!), you let me rock you to sleep without incident.  I sang to you for about 15 minutes (it turns out you like U2, Tom Waits, and I'm Just a Little Black Raincloud!), and you just closed your eyes and slept through until breakfast time.

And breakfast (that first morning and each subsequent iteration) was super easy too.  I should probably not brag too much, because when Mom reads this she will probably realize that I could take on more of these routine chores looking forward...

The second night you did do something weird, but it turned out ok.  After staring me down through the singing period (was it that you wanted a whole new batch of songs?  Or that you were hoping for more Gillian Welch and less INXS?), you let me put you in your crib - still awake - and leave you there.  This was after an hour or so of rocking and singing to you, during which you yawned plenty, rubbed your eyes, and snuggled in close, but did.  not.  go.  to.  sleep.

So I left you in the crib.  When I got downstairs and checked you on the monitor, you were still laying quietly in your crib, your little raccoon eyes (night vision cameras can be creepy) open and gazing up at me...  And so it went for another hour.  You did eventually doze off, but only after surprising me with this silent treatment.  I had expected tantrums and crying, and I got this very mellow, contemplative kid.  I convinced myself that you were working through some Trennungsangst about your mom being gone.  But hey, it was better than crying!

The rest of the week gave us opportunities for other "firsts": first bath time alone with Dad, first dinner trip out alone with Dad, first time singing Sunday Bloody Sunday as a lullaby...

I also gained some perspective on parents who are always doing this job solo, and came to understand just a little more how challenging that life must be.  I've appreciated (and loved) your mom since long before you were born, but a week where our only experience of her was over (an inconsistent) video chat link reaffirmed how central she is to our experience of Family.

In anticipation, I couldn't wait for this week to come and go and to be able to look back on it as "done", but now the rear looking perspective is bittersweet.  You and I had a great time, and we both know now that we can do this, we can hold it together for a few days at a time, just the two of us.

I love you, son.

month 16

You can never step in the same river twice, and no two months in your kid's life are the same...but, when I write the book of being a dad, I will probably comment that the pace of change and development and onslaught of novelty slows some in the low teen months.  You do new things, but they are really marginal progressions over the last few months.

The most striking "new" thing that I noticed in April was your ability to understand me and your mom.  We can give you pretty complicated instructions, and you carry them out (if you are in the mood, not distracted by the dog, not hungry, etc...) and that comprehension and ability to act on your understanding is very cool.

 

In so far as we have family "traditions", one that has evolved over the last year or so is a Saturday trip downtown, with a nice family breakfast and trip to the TN Aquarium.  We've found that getting there at opening time makes a HUGE difference in our collective ability to enjoy the exhibits.  You are not yet 2 years old, and you have probably been to the aquarium 10 times already.  On this most recent trip you showed more active interest in the fish and birds and butterflies, as opposed to just a general excitement in being "out".

There's a little park near our home, and Mom takes you there pretty often.  You have graduated from just swinging and checking out the more mobile kids to BEING one of the more mobile kids.  It's cool to watch you watch the bigger boys and girls  - you seem inspired by their excitement.  And then you try to steal their wheels.

You are obsessed with wheels - anything that you can spin or roll has your attention.  Your late, Great Grandmother gave you a vintage toy truck (a WalMart 18 wheeler with realistic engine sounds!) and you abso-freakin-lutely LOVE it.  And it has vintage features like tiny plastic parts that can break off and or poke you in the eyes.  So we keep hiding it, and you keep going to the hiding spot and pointing at where the darned thing is hidden and doing to "I want that" sign language.

The three of us - me, your mom, you - spend a TON of time together and I can't really imagine it being any other way.  I do not think there is one right way to parent and I don't know how our choices now will affect you later in life, but I really enjoy being involved in your whole day.

I have more and more pictures like this one, and the symbolic content is not lost on me.  You are both capable and comfortable ranging further and further from Mommy and Daddy, and that is bittersweet.  Your parents both want you to be confident and strong and interested in contributing to your community, and we know that means giving you space to develop your independence, but it is a constant battle against the instinct to cushion you against bruises, to insulate you from fear, to protect you from the world - let's just say we are going to do our best to keep you safe but not too safe.

 

You are my second favorite person in the world, and my best little buddy.  See you next month!

ode to my French press

This post could possible belong over at DRW Food, but it's here for now.

I love my French press.  It's forgiving to different grinds, it helps with portion control (the missus and I each get a decent cup - cup.5), and it feels so refined versus my Mr Coffee dripper.

Of course, I also have an AeroPress, and it's great for one off "espresso" style drinks.  I'm not sold on it for the morning coffee.

And then there's the Bialetti stovetop espresso/cappuccino maker (I don't think I spent that much on mine...I hope I didn't spend that much on mine...)

Moral of this story is that I have a small fortune in kitchen gadgets, but I have settled into a nice pattern of the French press for my daily joe maker, with the AeroPress for the occasional espresso experiment.

This post would be remiss in mentioning that my good friend Michael introduced me to French press coffee a few years ago in a Bronx apartment.  Cheers, Michael!

lessons I've learned

What's that you say?  Month 15 post wha'?  You can count now, little boy?!

I may not have written a March 26 post, but I sure did think about you a lot that day.  And today, I was thinking about things I have learned since we began this experiment.  In no particular order:

• most toys are not worth buying.  It may sound cliche, but you have had the most fun playing with wooden blocks, empty cardboard boxes, balls, and yesterday for the first time, a paper bag.

this video is long!

• it is wise to rotate toys in and out of accessibility.  A car you haven't seen in a few weeks is like a BRAND.  NEW.  TOY!!!  But with the added value of slight recognition.  Also, and related: if you don't seem to enjoy a particular toy, we just rotate it out and try it again later.  It's pretty cool how you can totally not care about a multi-colored rolling wooden wheel toy for months, and then chase it around the house screaming hysterically (happy) for half an hour.
• As with toys, so with food.  When you were a little guy just beginning to eat "real" food, you LOVED avocado.  And then you didn't.  And now you do again, some days.  Same with strawberries.  And yogurt.  And most everything else, except bread and french fries - you hardly ever turn those down.
• sleep is not a science.  some nights you sleep for 7+ hours, some nights you don't.  You have two data driven and analytic parents who have run the studies looking for correlation, causation, pattern recognition, and witchcraft, and we have figured out that we don't know what the deal is.
• stoicism is important for dads, and yet is harder to practice when you are a dad.  I have always given consideration to possible bad outcomes, but when I think about how and what could happen to by best little buddy I get all, well, unstoic
• one never knows what is going on in a kid's head

• making you laugh is the best.  It makes me feel better than making money or making a mai tai, or watching The Big Lebowski.  Novelty is so powerful with you, and I'm constantly thinking of things I can show you or do for you that will get you going on that goofy, toothy smile and then ramp it up into the chuckle.  The belly laugh is more than I can ask for, and when it comes it's like jumping the fence onto Shields-Watkins field after UT beat Florida in overtime...it's a rush.

Traveling with child

Airlines are sociopathic institutions.  "Infant in arms" is a known thing, yet getting on the same page as the airline in advance is nigh near impossible.

In this case, even though we booked flights a month in advance on a major domestic carrier, we couldn't get assigned seats until we reached the departure gate.

On the first flight, this wasn't really an issue. Flying out of a tiny airport does have some perks, and one of those turned out to be uncrowded early boarding with baby and all accoutrements.  Not so in Atlanta for our connection.

The scheduled layover was about an hour, and with a 15 minute delay on landing for fog, plus deplaning from the rear, plus changing concourses in the busiest airport in the States...we got on our connection, in the midst of the fourth boarding group, and we took the seat assignments that the machine at the top of the jetway spat at us as we swept by in a sweaty rush.

I should interject here - perhaps as a  little foreshadowing or co-shadowing - the baby rocked this travel day. No screaming, no tantrums, no airplane poopy diapers...the best criticism we could work up between us is that his 1 hour nap could have been better as a 2 hour nap.

Regarding traveling with kids against a time zone shift...it's not for the faint of heart. Some of you may know about the trip to San Francisco we had scheduled for october 2011 that got unscheduled due to some family illness ...that trip was going to dislocate our precious cargo by 3 hours from his standard sleep routine, and the thought had me anxious.  Today's trip just set us off an hour. The jury is still out. 
We picked a hotel on the Riverwalk, based mostly on location and traveler reviews, but it also turned out to be pretty affordable.  And! When we checked in, they gave us punchcards for several unadvertised freebies: daily hot breakfast (kind of standard, I guess, but still! ), free wifi (no codes - you just connect!), and 3 freaking free drinks at a daily happy hour! I was not prepared.

the nighttime view from our balcony

"with limited service" - LOL

Friday.

Breakfast in the hotel lobby, and then a first exploration of the Riverwalk in a drizzly rain.

Lunch at Iron Cactus on the Riverwalk.  We had to dodge around a guy out front selling time shares, but the food inside was pretty good.  Jude was not cool. I had a Margarita, fried shrimp tacos; mi esposa had marinated tilapia tacos, and we shared some guac mashed up table side.

In what became a welcome hallmark of this trip, we had a nice nap afternoon nap back at the hotel. And have I mentioned the cheerleaders?  Our hotel turned out to be ground zero for a cheerleader convention, and I don't mean a "Playboy Girls of the SEC kind of cheerleader, but a "12 year olds dolled up like Jon Benet by their parents to compete for trophies" kind of cheerleader.  Our room was second from the top floor, with only a rooftop terrace and lounge area above us - perfect for late night tumbling sessions...

the swimwear competition involves bottle juggling

The indoor pool at this hotel was a beautiful room with floor to ceiling, wall to wall windows facing out over the city from the 9th floor, and on our first attempt to go for a swim with Jr, we were greeted with the scene of 40+ cheerleaders, sans chaperone, enjoying the facility.  We came back later.  The kid loves "swimming".


That night we ventured out of tourist central (the riverwalk) to the King William neighborhood to this Belgian place:


View Larger Map

I think we were seeking an experience to remind us of the Hopleaf back in Chicago.  We had a great time, and the staff there really went to lengths to make us comfortable.  Another party with a baby had just preceded us and claimed their only high chair, but one of the waiters ran across the street for a loaner from the latin bar...very cool.  We shared Crevette Franca (so called "Belgian Style" fried shrimp), a fromage plate, Saison and Kwak beers.

low light = romantic.  just ignore the messy kid

We moved on to moules and frite in a "Basque " sauce with chorizo and herbs. I had an Omed Belgian blonde, then cappuccino and waffle for dessert...awesome. Jude rocked it.

Saturday.

Not a great night's sleep but decent. Breakfast downstairs, and then a drive out to the Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch (link opens to music).  It's a drive through safari park where animals of all sorts come right up to the car and give you some facetime. Jude loved it.  He loved the poop out of it.

Back on the riverwalk for lunch at Boudro's. This is a tourist spot, but with a good reputation.  We got patio seating by the river and got caught in the rain. The prickly pear Margarita and steak sandwich were nice (if a little wet!); Mom had ropa vieja.

After a good, long nap we cleaned up and went to the Tower of the Americas for dinner at the Chart House. Long ago in the time before baby, we had dined a couple of times at the location in Boston and found it to be great "for a chain." Dinner went verrrrrrry long.  At least the view was nice.

notice the lack of food or booze, 1 hour in

Sunday.

We got up and out early and decided to look for breakfast outside the hotel. Sunday mornings can be tough, but we found a local bagel place and had a quick meal. The weather was finally more cooperative, so we committed to walking as much as possible for the day. We headed over to El Mercado to get our fill of souvenir shopping, and the we found our way back to King William for a look-around and lunch at Rosario's (music). There, We started with some chorizo queso flameado (in Chicago they called thie "fundido") and then dove into tacos. Mine were filled with pork chunks simmered in chilies, and nothing else. The big surprise at lunch - Jude fell asleep in the stroller on the way and slept through the whole meal! We had to keep reminding each other that it wasn't necessary to shovel food down as fast as possible.

On the walk back we stopped to give the baby lunch in a hotel courtyard, but not just any hotel...this one happened to be the Marriott where Mexico, Canada, and the USA signed NAFTA! Jude didn't seem impressed.

a helpful reminder that Canada and Mexico are part of North America

Back on the riverwalk I made the family stop for an afternoon libation in the patio seating of the Westin's bar. It would have been awesome but for the steady stream of smokers coming from inside to stand by our seats and spew their nastiness at us. It always makes me want to follow them back to their seats and fart a big nasty at their table and say "see?!?!"

A short swim and a long nap and then back out for dinner. The riverwalk was crowded (holiday weekend?) and Mom didn't like the look of the first place I had in mind, so we doubled back to a swank, romantic spot at the Omni. Las Canarias (named for the Canary Islands origins of the first European settlers in the area) was fancy. They had a 12 page wine list with maybe 5 reds available by the glass ...I had a Margarita. We shared a caprese salad, she had veggie ravioli and I enjoyed a salmon and pork belly dish. Jude rocked it.

Facing an early flight on Monday, we mostly packed tonight. I got 3/4 of everything we brought into my suitcase - I'm interested to see the drama around the other 1/4 in the morning.




Monday.

Travel day - up at 5:30, on the road by 6:15... Dropping the rental car and getting to the airport wasn't too bad. But once again, security required Amber to go through a pat down to prove the baby milk we were caring was, in fact, baby milk and not b.b.b.b.bomb making material. At the gate, the friendly agents informed us and 100 of our newest, closest friends that our plane was actually on the property but parked somewhere else and would need to be "towed" around to our gate. We left 40 minutes late. The best news of the trip home was that Jude got his own seat and slept the whole way from San Antonio to Atlanta. That was awesome.

"Travel?  I could tell you some stories!"

Month 14

Eek! I wasn't ready!