tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-672607694676095084.post2000353835215419603..comments2019-03-14T09:47:35.428-04:00Comments on deltaromeowhiskey: Month 1Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-672607694676095084.post-67739652869321313462011-01-31T21:53:23.241-05:002011-01-31T21:53:23.241-05:00Perhaps instead of a "bad mom" I should ...Perhaps instead of a "bad mom" I should say I am a woman ill-suited to motherhood. <br /><br />And reading your response made me finally realize that I desperately, desperately need to get a job. Stat.jessicanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-672607694676095084.post-90635835295416293552011-01-31T10:23:14.113-05:002011-01-31T10:23:14.113-05:00But, Jessica, there are some really simple things ...But, Jessica, there are some really simple things that differ in our situations that ought to relieve you of the fear of being "a bad mom". The biggest difference in our lives is the very nature of our days.<br /><br />I do work at home, and so do have the ability to see and interact with my child some, but 95% or more of my "day" from 7am - 5pm is concerned with another world, one outside my house and not directly concerned with baby stuff...If I've had a bad day, it is generally because of work related frustrations. In this context, hanging out with my baby is change of venue, an opportunity to think about something else, and to be reminded of the "why" in my work.<br /><br />By contrast, from what I know of your life, when you have had a bad day it was likely BECAUSE of your kids. Your spouse is undoubtedly loving and supportive, but his job is out of the house, and you are currently tasked with managing the bulk of the day's kid-care along, right?<br /><br />I can promise you that if my baby-mamma wasn't downstairs dealing with all the frustrations...my end-of-day Dad/Baby snuggle might be very different.<br /><br />Stay strong, Jess. Having met your kids, I know you are a wonderful mom.deltaromeowhiskeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11829251849426113848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-672607694676095084.post-42575550177731290292011-01-31T10:05:14.713-05:002011-01-31T10:05:14.713-05:00I agree that those personality inventories are rid...I agree that those personality inventories are ridiculous. People are way too complex to fit into those categories. I'm like you in that I consider myself social and really enjoy being around people, although for me I even like crowds. But in terms of "re-charging", I think that I am more of an introvert. When stressed out, tired, or upset, I prefer to be by myself. <br /><br />So when I read your post I had another of my frequent, "Why am I such a bad mom" moment. Because while your day is instantly turned around by being with your son, I can have a perfectly wonderful day and be around my kids for about 10 minutes and be miserable. <br /><br />I spend a huge amount of my time observing other parents (mostly moms) and trying to figure out how what makes me absolutely insane makes them so blissfully happy and fulfilled. Much like your diet, there are too many variables to pin it down to one thing. But one of my areas of thought lately has been the extrovert vs. introvert issue.<br /><br />When you've had a crappy day, being with your son refreshes you and makes you feel better. When I've had a crappy day, being around my kids feels like I'm being drained. Even if they're being good, they NEED. And I need some time when someone doesn't need something from me, even if it's affection. <br /><br />Another possibility is the one vs. three kids thing. There are VERY few moments during my day when at least one kid isn't unhappy. Maybe when I just had one I had more moments of contentment. On second thought, parenting wasn't really for me even then. <br /><br />That's really a grouchy response to your beautiful post.jessicanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-672607694676095084.post-7267772527354487612011-01-31T09:41:08.445-05:002011-01-31T09:41:08.445-05:00Jessica - that's a complicated question to ask...Jessica - that's a complicated question to ask an overly analytical soul like me...<br /><br />If I remember correctly, my Meyers Briggs outcomes were routinely ENFJ (sometimes ENFP); I tend to think personality tests are BS of a high order, so all caveats.<br /><br />Your stated metric is conflicted for me: I respond well to interactions with others, but mainly from a fairly intimate and intense session with one or a few people; crowds tend to make me feel exhausted. Walks, alone and with some time to let my mind wonder, are absolutely therapeutic...<br /><br />So, where does that leave us?deltaromeowhiskeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11829251849426113848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-672607694676095084.post-55137816172525112782011-01-31T09:33:41.479-05:002011-01-31T09:33:41.479-05:00This may come off as unrelated to this post, but I...This may come off as unrelated to this post, but I have a question for you. Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert? (An introvert defined in this case as someone who recharges by spending time alone and an extrovert as someone who recharges by being around people they love.)<br /><br />I would be interested to hear your answer and then I'll tell you why this post made me ask the question.jessicanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-672607694676095084.post-32451267545673186132011-01-26T17:46:48.535-05:002011-01-26T17:46:48.535-05:00I love this! Thanks for sharing.I love this! Thanks for sharing.Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14129327136667801628noreply@blogger.com